Have you ever experienced moments like you stop in the middle of a conversation because you suddenly lost your trail of thought? Or times when you find yourself standing and stuck in a room you just walked into because you suddenly forgot why you went there in the first place? How about a time when you planned to cook a really great meal, go to the grocery, and then come home realizing that you missed to buy that one important ingredient you needed for your recipe? Oh I could go on. My list is long.

If you’ve experienced one of the above, something similar, or just if you’ve had times when you feel like you’re in a daze and your thoughts are foggy, well, you might just be experiencing “mom brain”.

Three children and two epidurals later, my once sharp and strong memory has become a thing of the past. Gone are the days when I can do mental maths with ease, breeze through a book cover to cover in one day, and so much more now tucked away long in my past.

So is “mom brain” a legit medical condition or just an alibi we like to use for our inadequacy to catch up with the heightened demands of having children?

In a research conducted some years back, results of scans made on brains of women before and after pregnancy revealed certain changes in the size and structure of some areas in their brains involved in reception to feelings and sensitivity to others. These changes involved a decline in gray matter in the brain after the subjects have given birth, a process called “synaptic pruning”. It’s the same process our brain goes through from childhood to puberty to adolescence (like how we can vividly remember recent events but only vaguely recall anything when we were 4 or 5 years old).

We can think of this much like as a full storage device needing deletion of data to make way for new ones. Similarly, our brain is trimming away excess and unnecessary information to clear space for the upcoming demand of strong connection and focus as our baby arrives. This is loss in a good way, because it only prepares us to be more tuned-in to our baby’s needs and ready us to be responsive parents. Amazing what our brains can do for us, right? Forget about the names of insignificant people in our lives and accept the lapses in judgement once in a while.

So the next time you forget your keys and had to head back three floors up, or you lost a client because you missed an important deadline, just close your eyes and think of your smiling children and remember the gift that they are. Be kind to yourself and remember these—

• Mom brain is a gift. You are a wonderful mother because of it.
• Your children are thriving because you are wonderful.
• There are many ways you can help your brain recall some of its old glory.

1. Eat healthy. Omega-3 rich foods, steamed or boiled fish, eggs, nuts and seeds, beans, avocados, and dark chocolate are some of the best ones for the brain.
2. Make time for exercise. I cannot stress this enough. Exercise is critical for your brain and mental function.
3. Do mental exercises. Test how much you can recall in the recent days and work your way further in the past. Do math in your head.Solve word games (google!). Read a new book. Play classical music.

• Accept that taking notes is now an essential part of your life. Maintain a planner. Keep a notepad at an arm’s reach so you can write anything important that you need a reminder for.
• Lastly, embrace the new you and welcome your mom brain! Focus on what it does best for you and your children instead of its disadvantages.

Are you a part of the mom brain league yet? Haha! How are you coping?